Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
