Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
