I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
