How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
