you win again, gameday.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
