DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
