He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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