I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize