My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
