Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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