I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
