College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
