Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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