why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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