she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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