Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
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