I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
