This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
