Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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