can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
