You really coming over, don't trick.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Randomize
