Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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