im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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