the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
the day after is always just damage control
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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