as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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