Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Randomize
