Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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