ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Randomize
