she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
