I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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