i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
