i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Randomize
