I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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