Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
