the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
