i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
