I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
