Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Michael Bay diarrhea
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
