well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
