yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
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