it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Randomize
