so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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