He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
