ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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