I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
