And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I'm sobbing to NWA
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
