He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
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