He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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