Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
