I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Randomize