i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You need Xanax blowdarts
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
