In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
