just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
either way he was missing a nipple.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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