You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
