another moral hangover. fuck.
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
