Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize