You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You dont lie about slip and slides
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
