opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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