I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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