ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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