WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
