Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
